Friday, January 30, 2009


She feels the sunshine on her face. The warmth had called her from sleep. She pretends to still sleep, savoring the moment before the questions begin their march. Eyes held tightly closed, she imagines what it would be to live with this darkness forever… to feel the sunshine but never be bathed in its light… to never see the dancing of fireflies or the pink of cotton candy or the green of jade. This has been the fear the diagnosis brought… of all the possibilities the words multiple sclerosis thrust upon her… this loss of color was the one that consumed her days… that sent her manically collecting rainbows and absorbing sunsets, harvesting for the days of darkness.

She opens her eyes… and smiles into the sunshine of another day.

(Since being diagnosed, my biggest nagging fear is that MS will take my vision... for me, everything else, all the other looming possibilities, are workable... the thought of not seeing still steals my sleep...)


  1. MS stealing your vision forever is VERY RARE---you will see many sunrises.

  2. Isn't it interesting how a fear can settle so deeply even when you know the odds are heavily tilted in your favor? I have been so blessed - yet there are moments when 'What If' screams louder than reason.