Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Get It

Yesterday was a tough day... woke up feeling like I hadn't been asleep... and actually for the most part I hadn't.

I parked myself on my bed with a book and a quilt... dozed off (thankfully... that was the goal...) and slept for three hours... and of course, woke feeling no more rested than when I closed my eyes.

That is one of my frustrations with MS fatigue. The general assumption is that if one takes a nap, one will wake feeling more rested and refreshed... thus making the investment of time (that could have been spent doing something else) a good one. With MS I can sleep an entire day... or day and night... and not wake feeling any less fatigued than before I slept.... which leaves me feeling that I have wasted a huge block of time... lost time.

I slept fairly well last night... with the help of medication... and still this morning, I'm exhausted.

My family is great... when I'm tired they tell me to go lay down... there's (usually) no guilt trip associated with it either... but it's very hard to explain the extreme frustration that comes with not having the energy to do the things I want to do. They have valid frustrations about things not getting done... but generally seem to believe that it doesn't bother me that I'm not doing what we all think I should be doing. I feel like I've lost a big part of my life at 47... and no one seems to 'get' it.

1 comment:

  1. I have no words for you. Only those who have walked where you walk can "get it".

    But I will acknowledge it. You have lost a big part of your life, and your feelings are valid.

    You have been heard, at least by one.